I’m emotionally numb as I miscarry this baby. No emotions whatsoever, just physical pain. But its hard for me to feel anything outside of occasional sadness these days. Even happy moments seem forced. I feel myself dissociating from time to time.

I guess overall I’m just tired. It’s been rough dealing with the rape & now this. Maybe my body is shutting down my emotions to protect me.

I feel like I need to express this but have noone to really talk to. Initially I felt a sense of relief cause I wasn’t ready for this baby. Now… I wonder, will I be able to have a normal pregnancy in the future? How can I really enjoy sex after this? My relationship with sex has changed so much in a matter of weeks. It’s so tainted now but I do believe my sex life can return to normal eventually, hopefully it will become even better than before.

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